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Rather than expecting others to change their behaviours, it's worth looking at whether you need to change yours, and in doing so, become clearer in what you want and need, stating those needs and wants more assertively, not passive or aggressive.
If your normal mode of behaviour is to act aggressively, then it's time to learn how to be more assertive, and achieve far more in doing so.
The primary key to assetive behaviour is feeling good about yourself, taking full responsibilty for your actions, feeling and thoughts, and not blaming others for making you feel bad, low, or sad. You have control of how you feel and react, and it's far safer to act than to react to a situation.
ASSERTIVENESS MEANS THE FOLLOWING;
1. RESPECTING YOURSELF.
2. TAKING RESPONSIBILTY FOR YOURSELF.
3. RECOGNISING YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS INDEPENDENTLY OF OTHERS.
4. MAKE CLEAR 'I' STATEMENT'S
5.ALLOWING YOURSELF TO MAKE MISTAKES
6.ALLOWING YOURSELF TO ENJOY YOUR SUCCESSES
7. CHANGING YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WANT TO
8. ASKING FOR 'THINKING IT OVER' TIME
9. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT
10. SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES
11. RECOGNISE THAT YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO OTHERS
12. RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR RIGHT TO BE ASSERTIVE TOO
BREAK THE SILENCE GUYS AND SPEAK OUT!
1. You have the RIGHT to be treated with respect, as an equal human being.
2. You have the RIGHT to acknowledge your needs as being equal to those of others around you.
3. You have the RIGHT express your opinions, thoughts and feelings.
4. You have the RIGHT to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them
5. You have the RIGHT to choose not to take responsibility for other people.
6. You have the RIGHT to be you, without being dependent on the approval of others.
That means respecting who you are and what you do.
That is how you feel and what you think and do. For example; "I feel angry when you put me down" is more assertive than "You make feel angry when you put me down"
Needs and wants are very different from each other, and are separate from what is expected of you in particular roles, such as partner, husband, lover, son, etc. It's about your needs and wants, which are very important.
About how feel and what you think. Example, 'I feel uncomfortable with this decision' or ' I know that it's right to not do that'
Recognise and accept that sometimes you WILL make mistakes and that despite what you may have been told or learnt, that it is OK to make mistakes, like everyone else does.
By validating yourself and what you have managed to achieve, and increase that by sharing that achievement with others so that they can also enjoy your success.
If and when you choose to do so, and when you do, know that you are allowed to change YOUR mind.
Example; When someone asks you to do something and you need some time to think it over, try saying something along the lines of ' I will think it over and will get back to you shortly' and then end the conversation at that point.
Instead of waiting for someone to notice what you want, and then moaning later that you didn't get what you wanted.
Example; ' I know that you want me to do that, but I do not want to do so at the moment'
That doesn't mean you are responsible FOR others. As adults, we have a responsibility for and towards our children, which is very different from having a responsibility towards each other as adults.