MYTH:Think back to the not so distant past, and you will recall that sexual abuse just 'didn't happen to boys and men', so no wonder there is still some resistance to acknowledge that females do sexually abuse boys and men, and that 'joe public' would rather ignore the issue than agree that men and boys are sexually abused and raped by females!
Although the majority of abusers are male, women also sexually abuse both boys and girls, and not, as part of the myth, that they were forced to do so by a man. Many act alone and abuse in a far more sadistic pattern.
In group sessions, we have had countless men who were been abused by females, and in many cases, it was their mothers, sisters, female babysitters and female family 'friends' who abused them. More and more men are finding the courage to speak out and begin to break the last taboo, which is that females do sexually abuse children.
Dr Bunting, author of Females Who Sexually Offend Against Children says, "There is no safe gender, just offenders. Female sexual offenders are just as capable of perpetrating terrible, evil and sordid acts as men are."
Because men represent the overwhelming majority of sexual offenders, society has translated the significant minority of female sexual offenders into non-existence, she said. This, she adds, leads to severe under-reporting of incidences of sexual crimes committed by females and is also the reason why victims encounter so much disbelief when they report such a crime.
Although it is becoming known that women do sexually abuse children, it is often seen as being forced into it by male partners,but sadly women also carry out sexual assaults on children, often alone and it involves cruel sadistic assaults
Workers who support male survivors are beginning to listen and believe that women do sexually abuse children, and although this has implications on destroying the myth that females are caring and nurturing people, it has one story that has to be believed and listened to.
Some people take the view that “it’s such a small problem compared with the much larger problem of male abusers that talking about it would only distort the real picture” If that is the case, consider that until recently, out of a group of seven men, five had been sexually abused by women. A factor unheard of until recent years.
One therapist, when told by her male client that his mother abused him for sexual gratification, told him not to think such dirty thoughts!
A female social worker, who attended one of our training sessions, found it unbelievable that a woman would willingly abuse children, but when informed by a male survivor of female abuse that he had himself been sexually abused by a female, she had no other option than to listen and believe to what he said. It thankfully changed her perception on how she dealt with future clients.
The prejudice she felt, and that of many others, needs to be challenged and changed.
If you have been sexually abused by a female, either on her own, or with others involved, you are not alone in this, nor are you to blame for what happened to you
Heres a rough profile of a pedoscele, as opposed to a Paedophile, which is the same thing, but is just not hidden in a word that has also been perverted by them!
Sadly, they're not marked or highlighted for the world to see, so remember...these pedosceles are right in your world.
HOW TO SPOT THEM!
* Popular with both children and adults.
* Appears to be trustworthy and respectable.
* Has good standing in the community.
* Prefers the company of children.
* Feels more comfortable with children than adults.
* Is mainly attracted to prepubescent boys and girls.
* Are heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. (It doesnt matter who they are!)
* Grooms children with quality time, video games, parties, candy, toys, gifts, money.
* Singles out children who seem troubled and in need of attention or affection.
* Often dates or marries women with children that are the age of his preferred victims.
* Rarely forces or coerces a child into sexual contact, but is usually through trust and friendship.
* Physical contact is gradual, from touching, picking up, holding on lap, kissing, etc.
* Derives gratification in a number of ways. For some, looking, for others, taking pictures or watching children undress. Others require more contact.
* Finds different ways and places to be alone with children.
* Are primarily (but not always) male, masculine, better-educated, and choose jobs allowing them greater access to children.
* Usually family or divorced men, with no criminal record, and deny that they abuse children, even after caught, convicted, incarcerated, and ordered into a sex offender programme!.
* Even if the pedoscele has no children, his home is usually child-friendly, with toys, books, video games, computers, bikes, swing sets, skateboards, rec room, pool, snacks - things to attract children to his home and keep them coming back.
* A female pedoscele will often, though not always partner up with a male pedoscele
* Pedosceles act independently, or are involved in an organised ring, including the Internet, and other pro-paedophilia groups.Most pedosceles recognise that their behaviour is criminal, immoral, and unacceptable by society, and therefore operate in secrecy.
* Some are quite open and militant about their practices and advocate the normalisation of paedophilia under the guise of freedom of speech and press, and use innocuous language like intergenerational intimacy!.
N.B. SURVIVORS of sexual abuse and rape, be they male or female, are NOT abusers and never would cause such pain, misery and harm to a child, yet some people still think that!