CONFUSED BY YOUR SEXUALITY AND GENDER?
When sexually abused as a child, there can be issues left that confuse you as to who you are and what you should be, sexually.
Consider this scenario: If you were raped and abused, and in the process you were told or even made to act out as if you were the female, that alone would leave behind thoughts and feelings that will continue to haunt you, confuse you and maybe even make you act out sexually, when older
Why? Because as you grow up to become sexual yourself, you start to look for what it was all about, trying to make sense of something that is impossible to make sense of and in the confusion, end up doing things you think might explain why it happened.
Even more damage is done if the abuse continues over a period of time and the abuser continues to call you names and demands that you act or respond as a female.
More often than not, this impacts deppely upoin the soul of the survivor and is just another sick way that abusers carry out the abuse, under the impression that it does no harm.
Some, but not all men who have gone down the gender role assignment, have also suffered sexual abuse as a child, or teenager, and that alone can confuse them enough more, because they are left feeling less of a man, whatever that is supposed to be, and therefore feel that they should be female, and in effect, passive in all ways
I have been given permission to share one man's experience, which he suffered as a young child, in the hope that it helps you understand and appreciate the complexities that sexual abuse and rape can have upon some men
Aged eight years old, 'Tom' was raped and abused, whilst made to wear to female attire and during the abuse, was also called by a female name, and told to act feminine. He was made to pose for photgraphs, again wearing female attire and made to pose like a female.
Over the years, that effect made Tom question his sexuality, his sexual identify and his confusion as to what was done to him as a child
As he grew up, he was left thinking that he was female, and as he grew up, questioned his whole life.
In order to gain some control over that, he acted out sexually, but not with men, but using a online persona, that allowed him to gain some control over the abuse he suffered
He kept that secret for many years and in the process, became very confused as to who he was and what he was supposed to be.
Western society states that he be a red blooded male and a sexual conquer, but the remnants of the abuse confused and scared him enough to make him retreat in a fantasy world , where no one could hurt or abuse him. Thankfully, since he started to make some sense of the abuse he suffered, he has managed to overcome the past and is now looking forward, instead of looking back, and locked into the past.