If you have a tendency to feel that time spent working on these areas is self-indulgent, just think of the following advantages you stand to gain if you become fully aware of yourselves and your potential.

You feel more in control - You are able to relax and are far less prone to getting nasty shocks about who you are. e.g. “I surprised myself. I didn’t think I could be so nasty/weak/frightened, etc.”

You can use your time effectively - e.g. you can choose to spend more time doing things you are good at, or learn to improve areas you which are not so strong.

You can protect yourselves - if you acknowledge that you have a particular weakness, whatever it may be, you can then begin to make allowances for them, and beginning to feel better able to defend yourself from both fair and unfair criticism.

What kind of person are you? -

Most people with addictive personalities, when asked to describe themselves, start by being negative, and take on the role they have playing recently, if you feel uncomfortable with this, begin by looking at your roles in life:

Jot down whatever comes into your head, you can always add to it later.

AS A GUIDE:

Your behaviour - looking after others, encouraging others, teaching, listening, learning, cooking, cleaning, etc....

Your feelings - warm, loving, protective, frustrating, angry, happy, excited, puzzled, satisfied, etc....

Your thoughts - planning, looking at different possibilities, wondering if you’re being effective, etc....

Why do this? What will you achieve?

1. Increased self-knowledge.

2. Increased self love.

· You feel more in control - You are able to relax and are far less prone to getting nasty shocks about who you are.

e.g. “I surprised myself. I didn’t think I could be so nasty/weak/frightened, etc.”

· You can use your time effectively - e.g. you can choose to spend more time doing things you are good at, or learn to improve areas you which are not so strong.

· You can protect yourselves - if you acknowledge that you have a particular weakness, whatever it may be, you can then begin to make allowances for them, and beginning to feel better able to defend yourself from both fair and unfair criticism.

IF you want to feel truly confident, you must break the habit of trying to please all people, all of the time, because you never will!