A ~ C       ||     D ~ G    ||     H ~ M    ||      N ~ P    ||     Q ~ S     ||      T ~ W        ACTING OUT            ASSERTIVENESS            ANXIETY            ANGER            ADDICTIONS            BOUNDARIES            CONTROL ISSUES            CONFUSION            CONFIDENCE            COUNSELLING            DREAMS            EMAIL US            EMOTIONS            EFFECTS            FEMALE ABUSERS           FEELINGS            FEARS            FLASHBACKS           HELPLINES        INTIMACY            ISOLATION            LETTING GO            MALE RAPE            MYTHS            NEWS            NIGHTMARES            PROCRASTINATE            PARTNERS            PEDOSCELES            PRISON RAPE           PTSD            QUESTIONS            RELATIONSHIPS           SPEAK OUT td>      STAGES           SABOTAGE            SUPPORT            SEXUALITY            SHAME            TRIGGERS           THE BIG LIE           TRAINING            UNTRUE            VULNERABILTY           WORDS             WEEKEND RETREAT            WHO ABUSED YOU?

COPING SKILLS TO DEAL WITH TRIGGERS

Check at the bottom of the page for answers to the codes

1. Think about all of what you have gained since you started talking and recovering (B.)

2. Telephone someone! Make sure you have at least two or more numbers. Check your support network. (P.A.)

3. Avoid socialising with people that could bring your mood down. Avoid them at all costs! (A.)

4. Remember the mess that not addressing issues have left you in the past (C.)

5. Remember the promises made to yourself to keep working on these issues (H. & M.E.)

6. Stop and think about the consequences of screwing up. (C.)

7. Go for a walk, preferably with someone safe (P.A.)

8. Make something to eat, sit down and then think again. (S.)

9. Pray for some help (P.A.)

10. Listen to your favourite upbeat music, have a dance, no one can see you! (S. & DIS.)

11. Jog around the block a few times. (P.A.)

12. Go to bed and get some sleep (A. OR DIS.)

13. Tidy the house up (DIS.)

14. Stay indoors, watch mindless TV or a DVD, but NO porn! (A.)

15. SAY NO to yourself and others and mean it! (P.A.)

16. Think about your plans, which could end up being ruined. (M.E.)

17. Go to the cinema; take a safe friend with you. (S./DIS)

18. Visit a friend, ask for support and tell them how you feel. (PA./DIS OR S.)

19. Wash the car/windows/mow the lawn/empty the bins. ( DIS.)

20. Surrender to whoever or whatever is your higher power (P.A.)

21. Buy yourself something you would like. (S.)

22. Write down exactly how you feel at the moment. (P.A.)

23. Do a relaxation exercise and relax! (P.A.)

24. Tell yourself that you ARE an intelligent person and can behave intelligently. (H./M.E.)

25. Avoid places and people that put you at risk with temptation. (A.)

26. Have a cup of tea/coffee./hot chocolate. Sit down to drink it too. (S.)

27. Tell someone how you are feeling right now! (P.A.)

28. Read a good book and lose yourself in the reading of it (S./DIS.)

29. Think about someone worse off than you, anyone, and be grateful for what you have. (M.E.)

30. Remember the guilt and remorse that you felt the last time you did something to excess (M.E.)

31. Make love, and if you are alone, DIY! (S.)

32. Go to the toilet, close the door, sit down and think about what to do. (P.A.)

33. Get in a bath, sit back, relax and think positive thoughts. (DIS.)

34. Count to 100, then count backwards from 100 to zero. (P.A.)

35. Scream as loud as you can, then louder still, three times. (P.A.)

36. Allow yourself a good cry. It does not make you weak or less of a man to cry. (P.A.)

37. Recite the alphabet backwards. Start learning how to do so now. (DIS.)

38. Walk up and downstairs no less than ten times, then sit down and think again. (P.A.)

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Explanation of the Codes

B. Think about the benefits you will gain.
P.A. Take positive action now.
C. Think of the costs involved to you and others if you screw up.
DIS. Use a distraction to take your thoughts away from doing something wrong.
M.E. Mobilise your emotions to help create motivation.
H. Appeal to your higher honour to stay safe and do something about it now.
A. Use an avoidance technique, (start learning them now)
S. Use a substitute to whatever used to work for you and make sure you use it.

N.B. Choose a few of the above that will work for you. Choose wisely.

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